Wednesday 28 October 2009

Je suis malheureuse :(

I apologise blog fans (although there is only about...3 of you!) for my lack of blog-ness. I have been SO busy partying and rave-ing and being coool.

Ho hum.

I have ACTUALLY been busy with overtime and media cw and socio essay(s!) and english coursework and extended project, which is slowly killing me. Like katie, J'ai writers block :( and writers block doesn't go well with LAZINESS.

I'll be honest, I would rather watch Monsters Inc. than write about a topic that I USED to find interesting, and now bores the crap out of me =/

Today this is going to be a half happy blog, half sad blog. Maybe even 1/4 happy, 3/4 sad.


SAD: I am ill. I just did 5 hours at work and I spent the whole time trying not to die, rather than remembering to give people their stamps =/

HAPPY: I have 2 new buddies at Superdrug! (Well, maybe 1.5. One is a FRIEND, the other is an ACQUAINTANCE. Emily James <3 and Rachael Beckingham :) (she was a Thornden kid, and her mum helped out with us Foood Tech kids!! Woo!!)

And I am excited. I also feel very WISE and OLD. I hope to show them some tricks that will benefit them, and will prevent any surprises in terms of....THE TILLS. dun dun dunnnnnn.

SAD: I miss Thornden. I saw my deep-voiced, gruff Systems Control&ICT teacher (Mr Ashmannn!) on the bus, and 1. he remembered me! and 2. i remembered what a legend (albeit a scary one!) he was!

HAPPY: Waterloo Road is back on tonight! But I am raving it up at Gemmas tonight so I will have to iplayer it :) Wooo!!

SAD: I complained to my manager today about having to dress up halloween-y on Saturday (normally I would be SO up for it, but last xmas I went really OTT with the oufit, FULL ON FAIRY while noone else bothered, so it was embarrasingg!!) and Scott said 'Don't worry about halloween. I'm sure you will find something scary and spooky to dress up like. Why don't you just wear you FACE!' and then when I forgive him he went to give me a high-5 and then rejected me. FML.

HAPPY: Um...

SAD: I have lost my cash card. I am too embarrased to tell my parents because I have already lost (and found, luckily!) my bus pass, my keys and my umbrella this week. (and my brother once, oops!)

HAPPY: I AM RUNNING OUT OF HAPPY THINGS! HOW CAN THIS BE! Um... I am in love with Gok Wan :)

SAD (and this is a BIG sad): I think I may have officially lost a best friend. At Thornden I was always like 'MUST HAVE A TRILLION FRIENDS, MUST GET 400 LOVES ON BEBO, MUST BE POPULAR FOREVER!' and in a way, i really liked that! (Xmas was expensive, though!) but since college I have realised who my REAL friends are, and now I have a smaller, CLOSE set of buddies :) but I saw Gem in town today and although I hadn't seen her for ages, it was WEIRDLY awkward.

Shes been my bestie since primary school, and although we have always been SO different, we've always been best friends! But I guess now I realise how different we really are.

In a way (and I am not trying to really put myself down!) it's kinda lady and the tramp. Beauty and the Beast. I am not saying I am so ugly, but in town today I was in my work uniform, looking scruffy and sniffly and tired and wearing a hoody, trousers and shoes I bought YEARS ago, while she was all glammed in New look (probably! 50% staff discount, I wouldn't be surprised!)

Apparently she was out with her mum planning a holiday to Europe (either Turkey or France I think).

With the preppy Jack Wills people.

i.e Without FUCKING me.

Sorry, I am just annoyed, and I have no idea why! I went to Arundel with my Symonds buddies and although I feel guilty not inviting her, it wouldn't have been the same with her there. It's sweet that shes invited me over tonight but sometimes its like I don't exist.

I was there for her when she was ill for a couple of years at Thornden. (thats another story!) and I was there for her when both of her grandparents died. and her hamster. :)

I KNOW we are different, and I know shes really into parties and drinking and spending stupid amount of money in Hollister and A&F.

I just don't like how much she has changed.

I never really fell out with my friends at Thornden so losing the person who used to be my #1 human being IN THE WORLD is hard.

The annoying thing is that shes stunning and friendly and SO SO smart, so I can't be like 'haha! at least I have brains!'

I am sure I am just overreacting, and we obviously have different things on and we have met different people at college, but at the mo I just feel greedy.

I want to cling on to ALL of my friends, make new friends, and just have everything the same as it was at Thornden.

Easy coursework, no friend issues.

:/

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