This post is LONGGG and full of random things. Happy et Sad. :S

I have this weird obsession with writing lists. On my phone, in my calendar, I have to list everything I plan to do. I have lists of movies and music I want to buy, birthdays coming up, things I need to do this summer :] It used to be lists of simple things that I used to write.. I need a new coat/new jeans, I need to get a birthday prezzy for this person.

But I was looking through some previous calendar posts on my phone, only to find things listed such as THIS:

‘Grab shower before Nick steals it’

‘Don’t forget sandwich from fridge’

‘Charge phone’

‘Unplug laptop’

And I think that this has gone TOO FAR.

However, I now have this notebook (which is practically my bible) in which I write down a massive list of things I need to do/buy. I had a panic attack today when I realised I bought the wrong notebook. I DIDN’T EVEN NEED MY LISTS!

I am such a freak.

I have been getting really stressed out at the moment. Mainly freaking out about new job&uni&whether to go to uni straight away&open days&planning holidays& sorting birthdays and now I know why everyone says January is the worst month! BECAUSE IT IS GAY. I had to leave Media early so I could have a little freak-out in the loos.

Hugs, please :]

Some people are being a little helpful with my whole stress thing. Some people are not.

There was a bit of a palava on facebook over the weekend. Everytime I looked through my news feed, something about someone called ‘Tom Hay’ turned up. I have no idea who he is, so I assumed it was spam. It wasn’t until I read a message from Matthew Green to this guy that I understood…

I have spent so much time complaining about stupid things. Like money, and sulky friends, lack of phone credit, lack of me-time, lack of sleep, lack of clothes, lack of clothes.

But I have never been properly affected by death.

Howabout complaining about a lack of friend. Lack of parents. Lack of classmate.

I feel really silly now, and pretty selfish. I always want more MONEY and more STUFF and I want to be richer and prettier and thinner and smarter. Why am I never content with what I have? If one of my friends died RIGHT NOW (touch BLOODY wood) what the hell would I do? I don’t think I appreciate my friends enough, because it seems as though I never have time for them.

I have lost a grandparent (who lived in Scotland and I wasn’t overly close to) and various rabbits and guinea pigs and fish. I know MANY people who have lost someone they love. HOW DO THEY COPE? I have never fully appreciated how lucky I am. The worse thing that has affected was my Grandma ending up in hospital quite recently. (I am still unsure as to WHY) but she is fit as a fiddle, thanks to golf. Noone in my close family has experienced cancer. Other than impending obesity, I think as long as we look after ourselves we might be OK.

But what about spontaneous things? My friends friend was hit by a car when he was cycling not to long ago, and was in a coma for MONTHS. But I also have my ‘friends-friends-aunts-friends-mums-cousins-grans-friend’ vibe to hide behind. I think even if someone I barely KNEW died, it would be unbearable…

It seems a bit pathetic that I am getting worried about extended project, or coursework. Obviously it is important, but I cannot imagine how Tom’s friends feel. How his family feels.

This is such a depressing blog. But I want you guys to know that I love you. (and spread the word!)

The moral of THIS story is: please don’t die.

Extended Project = FAIL/

My extended project person is a fool.

I was supposed to be seeing him about my latest installment (which I had to frantically do last night whilst babysitting and watching Coraline!) and when I went to see him today he said he was covering a lesson. I guess this is fair enough because my Sociology teacher wasn't in today so WE had to have a cover, but it was still annoying. I am SCREWED in terms of my extended project. =/ I wish I was more motivated, but at the moment I am tired all the time and stressed out all the time and E.P is not my main priority! =/

I have had a weird weekend. My sister was home for the weekend so she could have a chance to talk to my parents about boy problems. But it was SO sad. When she left to got back to Exeter she seemed fine (pretty excited to get rid of me, I bet!) but when she came round on Friday, she was a mess to be honest and everything in the WORLD reminded me of her. When I said the word 'football' or 'boules' she would get upset. Whenever I mentioned anything to do with Adam she would get upset. When I offered her a hug she got upset. I didnt have a lot of time to talk to her alone, (and anyways, I didnt want to pry too much!) because I had work/she was out doign some retail therapy with her friends...

I just hope shes OK.

The moral of THIS blog is: Men can be bastards. Never let them out of your sight or they will go into someone elses PANTS. :P

This is a fact that until recently, I did not know was true =/

We had an odd discussion in Media about superheroes, and how attractive they were. Then we discussed whether Buzz Lightyear was a buffting, and whether Mr Potato Head could be considered as a superhero because he helped his wife cross the road…

My media class may be pretty Jack Wills-y, but they are an odd bunch :]

Ohh, about JW! My mum got me a Jack Wills top, which means that I may have to get disowned my several friends, and be considered hypocritical. But I don’t mind =] I quite like it!

Whoa, this is a pointless blog….

I'm tell ya ONE TIMEEEE...(8)

I watched a music video that annoyed me SO much.

Basically, this rapper invites this 12 year old to a party. This 12 year old is WAY up for it, invites this girl he likes and then tries to hook up with this girl.

Justin Bieber: 'One Time.'

WHEN I WAS HIS AGE (according to wikipedia he is 15, not 12) I WAS PLAYING WITH POKEMON CARDS AND BOYS HAD TO BE AVOIDED LIKE SWINE FLU.

Catch boys, Kill Boys, Bin Boys :) the motto for BOY flu.

Basically in this music video this cutsie-pie boy is trying to act a decade older than he is. MASSIVE HOUSE PARTY, LOADS OF FIT GIRLS.

And the lyrics are even more annoying. At fifteen I didnt care whether I had a boyfriend or not, I was happy frollicking around all care-free and lovely.

I have just been hunting for ONE line of the song that doesnt annoy me. and i failed.

So I was have to copy pretty much ALL of it.

When I met you girl my heart went knock knock
Now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop stop
And even though it's a struggle love is all we got
And we gon' keep keep climbing to the mountain top


And girl you're my one love, my one heart
My one life for sure
Let me tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)
I'ma tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)

You look so deep, you know that it humbles me
You're by my side, them troubles them not trouble me
Many have called but the chosen is you
Whatever you want shawty I'll give it to you

Your world is my world
And my fight is your fight
My breath is your breath
And your heart


Shawty right there
She's got everything I need
And I'ma tell her one time
Give you everything you need down to my last dime

She makes me happy
I know where I'll be
Right by your side
'Cause she is the one


And I'ma be your one guy
You'll be my #1 girl
Always making time for you
I'ma tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)
I'ma tell you one time
(Girl, I love, girl I love you)

Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time
Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time
Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time
One time, one time

Now I generally DO NOT like pop music. But this takes the piss (I apologize to anyone who likes this song.. but if I find out that you DO, i may have to kill you!)

In a way, this song is kinda cute. CHEESY, but cute just the same.

The thing that annoys me is the fact that this pretty boy Zac Efron-ish dude feels such a NEED to get a girlfriend. And act all hard. And sell pop music disguised as r&b. And dress like a chav. And basically act older than he is.

Basically,I have been reading this book (it was supposed to be for my extended project, but its actually quite interesting so I have started reading it properly) called 'Whats happening to our girls?'. The book is about how childhood is shrinking and kids are growing up much faster than they used to. Girls are becoming more interested in make-up and fashion and how thin they are and SEX and guys are more interested in fashion and how buff they are and SEX.

I am not sure where this rant is going, but I wish that kids could be kids, rather than being self-conscious/ wanting to dress up like sluts.

My cousin tagged me in some (pretty embarrasing) pictures of me recently, and they are all from the 1990s. In some I have short hair, in some I have long. In some I look like a boy, in others I still look like a boy.

But I had FUN and I didnt care what people thought and I could have different haircuts and wear my sisters hand-me-downs and muck around and play and BE A KID.

There was a documentary on BBC over xmas called 'The History of now' and it was about the noughties and how our lives changed in the last 10 years and how our societies have developed (sounds boring but as a wannabe sociology graduate its SO interesting) and a lot of emphasis was on young people, basically being whores.

Nick got his first girlfriend yesterday, and today they are not together anymore :(

GET IN THERE ROSS!! :P

and hes growing up SO fast and the cutsie-pie side of him is disappearing. he doesnt have a curfew, my parents dont really care where he is a long as hes back for dinner, and hes getting more bossy.

To conclude, when/if I have kids I want them to be KIDS for at least.. 12 years..

and I want them to be happy and merry and not pressurised into looking a certain way or having the yummiest lovers.

Yeah.

I joined a facebook group called 'Justin Bieber - you don't love that girl, you are only 12..' which pretty much sums up my point :)

Dance like you're the only one around...

I wish that driving was like Crash Bandicoot Crash Team Racing, because then you have one button which means go. One button that means reverse. One button that helps you vent out your road rage, and throw bombs at people.

But it is not like that. SHAME.

I had my induction at Matalan today, and the people are SO nice and I am really excited about my first shift tomorrow! My mum is happy because she can nick my spare discount card, and I am happy because the pay is GOOD :)

Also, one of my old friends from Thornden (who goes to BP now) works there apparently, but she doesn't work the same days as me :'(

I hope that work committments will not prevent me from relaxing. When I had my socio exam today I was frantically cramming in some last-minute revision during lunch.. Katy kept persuading me to put the notes away and CHILL, and commented on the fact that I never relax. WHICH IS TRUE! SO SO TRUE!

I always need to be doing something and working and revising and stuff. Going to workshops over lunch and living in Ashurst in my frees. I have dozens of books on my shelf that I haven't read yet, loads of DVDs I haven't watched yet, loads of friends I haven't seen for ages :(

I NEED TO JUST SLEEP AND RELAX AND HAVE PAMPERING BATH SESHS MORE OFTEN.

Because I do get overloaded and I so get stressed out and I never have enough me-time, and i normally end up taking it out on someone else =/

I was absent-mindedly looking through an article of 'Two's company' (basically one of those things when you write in and try and hook up with someone.. I can't remember the name of it.. a personal ad?). I am always intrigued about the type of people who submit these 20-word things (mainly single mums, or over 50s!) and I was thinking about what I would write in a singles ad.

17yr old vertically-challenged and retarded brunette N/S, likes shopping, Tekken, Star Trek and nutella, WLTM similar-aged guy for holding hands and maybe more? GSOH and yummy, please.

that sums me up, pretty much :)

MANY THINGS

I have many things to talk about.

I may have to finish this blog tomorrow. THAT IS HOW MUCH I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT. haha

First up, just had my socio exam which went OK... I revised SO much about secularisation and science and neither of them came up :( but at least I answered the right question this time :D

Second up, I have training tomorrow at work which I am SO SO excited about. But nervous too. Apparently Kathy is going to gatecrash, and probably embarrass me

Kathy is home for the weekend because of boy-trouble :( But I might go to town with her to be her Gok Wan and get her hair done.. so she will feel right as rain :)

Also, my brother has a GIRLFRIEND!

I told him that I wouldn't tell anyone.. but I think that means in the family. Noone who reads this blog will really care.. (except maybe Ross, sorry love! You must be heartbrokenn!!) but I got excited :D

The things is, I had my first lover when I was his age.. and it lasted for FOUR hours. =/

But I have wished him luck, and offered him relationship advice.

AND THE GIRL HE IS GOING OUT WITH IS SO PRETTY!

If only she knew how weird he is..

But I am excited, because Nick is a ledge.

But I think that he is a potential manwhore.

Oh well, as long as he doesn't get STDs :D .... or make anyone preggers :)

Also, I blogged a few days ago about these EVIL jack wills people..

the guy who was having sex behind his girlfriends back, and the girl who didnt like her boyfriend because he wasn't rich?

I was eavesdropping on the bus today (kinda miffed about socio so in no mood to socialise!)

The thing is, these people I KNOW.

They went to my secondary school (the guy went to my primary school.. WHEN WILL I BLOODY ESCAPE HIM!?) and the girl I used to be quite good friends with because last year she was in my history class. Anyways...

BOY: (generally bragging about how awesome he is) Yeah, I've done screen, I've done adverts, I've done theatre.

GIRL: I got paid £2000 for doing an advert for my mums company.

BOY: Yeah, well... I got paid £50 for appearing on Casualty, and I was in a swingball advert and I don't know how much I got but it was probably billions.

GIRL: I just really hope I get into this drama school, but it is real competitive.

BOY: Well, I just want to be famous.

GIRL: I enjoy theatre and drama so I don't mind if I am famous.. it would be nice to be successful..

BOY: I want to be famous so I an be rich and get laid. I wil have groupies. That would be awesome

GIRL: Are you sexually frustrated.

BOY: Yes. I like your tits (I AM NOT EVEN JOKING, HE FREAKING SAID THIS)

GIRL: Haha, don't touch me up, you're not qualified yet! (I assume he is training to be a doctor... or a Hugh Heffner?)

BOY: Soon though. I have been accepted into 3 unis at the mo, woo!

GIRL: Well, if you are rich and successful, I will take advantage of your money. Then you can touch me up (I THINK she was joking!)

BOY: Ok, I look forward to that.

Then the girl got embarrased and starting talking to me about history. I was pretty shocked. That guy is a prick.

Oh I will finish this blog tomorrow. I am tired.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

The moral of this story is.. don't touch up girls unless you have a PhD :)

Just keep running

Today was another odd day.

I found out that one of my friends has scoliosis.

I found that another one of my friends is a lesbian.

NOBODY TELLS ME NOTHING.

I find lesbians intriguing. I am only close to about 3... but I always expect lesbians to be all butch and aggressive and feminist but they are all AMAZING :)

I went for a run today.. for no reason. but it was refreshing (and i have learnt to avoid busy roads... busy roads = more embarrasment because more people see you!)

but it was really nice to just listen to music that i hadnt listened to for ages and just chill..

But when i got home my mum was like YOU HAVE AN EXAM TOMORROW, YOU FOOL!

BED/REVISE!

Ohh, and you know those 'your mum' jokes/sayings?

I said one that cracked me up. Because it was true :)

Jen: Nick, can I borrow your headphones?

Nick: WHY? They are mine! Don't you have your own?

Jen: I have lost them. I want to go running. Can I borrow your headphones?

Nick: Um.. they don't work

Jen: Argghh! YOUR MUM DOESN'T WORK!!

(which is true, and therefore is funny)

OK IT WAS A BE-THERE MOMENT!!!

:D

me and nick, comedy duo :)

Crap towns :D

Yesterday was an odd day.

Two cars collided in front of me on the way to college – I was literally METRES away from them. It was scary. There are still some smashed up car pieces on the road. Luckily no one was hurt :]

In first aid, Valerie asked me whether anyone would go back into a burning building if I was in there.. hurt and DYING. Only Verity said yes. (NB: I am not just hated by my whole group.. as first aiders we aren’t supposed to go into burning buildings! But still, I felt a little unloved. And embarrassed.)

I had my cervical cancer jab, and it didn’t hurt, LUCKILY. It just aches now, but on the way to the surgery my mum asked me if I could take a book back into the library. It was a book called ‘Baby names.’ OMG IS MY MUM PREGNANT? (ew, that means my parents had S-E-X)

No. She isn’t. She was just helping out at this youth club and she needed it to help her with a game, or something..

I HOPE SHE IS NOT LYING.

Anyways, I was going to have to rush for my appointment, and didn’t have time to return the book. But it was SO embarrassing taking a ‘Baby names’ book into the library. But I had a flick through (my name in Welsh is Guinevere!) and I got a LOT of odd looks from women and young cervical-jab people. I knew some of them as well, which made it awkward. Considering I look about 14 means that any POSSIBLY of being pregnant would be PRETTY shameful. (and another thing, my parents would kill me if I had babies before the age of… 40?)

:D today has been a bit blah though. Starting freaking out about my Socio exam. Socio revision workshop cancelled so I am freaking out EVEN MORE. Don’t feel very well. Arm hurts. Generally ill.

BLAH.

But I got an offer from Surrey, so WOO!

In English last year we were discussing a book called 'Crap Towns' (and I was one of the few who hadn't read it) Basically, these two guys set up a website where people can rant about where they live in Britain, or places they have visited which were icky. They then collect these rants and go to the places themselves and rant about them too.

ANYWAYS

WINCHESTER IS NUMBER #5 in the top 50 'crap towns' in the UK!

Whyyy?

apparently it is scarred by 'broken-beer bottle violence' and the houses are expensive. there was one incident when this guy was attacked by gangs. it happens everywhere. WHY WINCHESTER!??

I don't understand.

Primark might be coming to Winchester this summer (replacing BHS in the Brooks)

oh.

THAT'S why its number five :D

I love Primark. It's going to mess up the Cath Kidston/Jack Wills/LK Bennett/Jaeger vibe though.

WOO!

Oh my, its a pie in the sky.

I will say the random thing of the day first.

I have a song stuck in my head. And not just ANY song. In year 6, Hiltingbury did a production of 'The Peace Child' ... (no, i havent heard of it either!)

And the song stuck in my head is the song we had to sing (I was in the Wonnikiki tribe, and my name was Hunga!) before the Wonnikiki's passed on the baby (the PEACE CHILD) to the Satongis..

I KNOW. I think the playwright was on crack when he wrote the play too..

I will give you a snippet of the song..

(8) Hi-ya, you- tom-bia. Mm-bada-mm-dio. Hi-ya, you tom-bia, you tom-bia- mm-day-oh. Hi-ya tom-ah keet ahh, Hi-ya-bmm-die-yahhh. (8)

SERIOUSLY.

AND I WAS SINGING THIS IN THE SHOWER.

WEIRD, EH?

Also, I had an odd conversation with my driving instructor today.

I will include stage directions, in case anyone wants to include this scene in an EXTENDED PROJECT (Katie, COUGH)

I am kidding, that would be a TERRIBLE mistake.

Tony: I AM GOING TO SNEEZE!!

(does so)

(applies soap stuff)

Tony: Kill it, Bin it.

Jennie: That is like the swine flu ad! The guy in the ad looks like Dr Kelso from Scrubs.

(Tony looks blank)

Jennie: I went to a festival last year and the soap in the portable loos was GROSS. It practically burned the cells of your hands.

Tony: I hate portable loos. But we are lucky. We can stand up.

(Jennie looks blank. Realises that he is talking about her lack of penis, and lack of ability therefore to pee standing up. Uh-huh. WEIRD CONVERSATION APPROACHING!)

Jennie: That is true..

Tony: But you know how to solve that problem?

Jennie: Girls use a shee-pee?

(Tony hahaha)

Jennie: Girls AVOID portable loos and instead use loos in the grandstand?

(Tony haha)

Jennie: Girls HOVER? [this was a brilliant plan mentioned to me by my friend Gemma, and it had never occured to me. I usually deal with public loos by process of IGNORING.]

(Tony disgusted)

Tony: WHAT THE HELL? THAT IS GROSS. WHAT THE F_CKK JEN!

Hahah.

good times.

I had a nice day today :)

Sometimes people can be douchebags.

The initial plan for my blog title was 'Sometimes boys can be douchebags' but girls can be pretty twattish too.

I don't normally judge people before I have properly met them (unless they SEEM posh/chavvy, haha!) but there was this girl and this boy sitting by me in Ashurst who really made me feel disappointed at the human race.

Basically, they are the epotime of the word TWAT.

I will just give you a snippet of their conversation.

Girl : OMG you are such a bitch. I mean you are a proper c*nt.

Boy : I KNOW, I KNOW.

Girl : But she is definitely too ugly for you. I mean, shes pretty fat.

Boy : She's nice, but...

Girl : Did you see her at Shane's party? She was all red in the face.

Boy : You know when you watch a movie and there's a nice guy who falls in love with a nice girl but the nice girls got a crap boyfriend? I'm the crap boyfriend. I must have slept with at least 6 other girls since we've been going out.

Girl : I wish that Dave would cheat on me. Then it would be easier to get rid of him

Boy : He doesn't seem your type...

Girl : I know. I found out he shops in GAP. He is not rich.

At this point I try and slyly turn towards the girl (we are on the PCs, and its hard to not look like I am staring.) excepting someone really glamorous, to justify her bitchiness.

She is not that pretty (although prettiness is not an excuse to be a bitch to your boyfriend) and HE wasn't that pretty either! (although prettiness is not an excuse to be a bitch to your girlfriend!!)

Some of my friends (mainly the more Jack-Wills buddies) treat their boyfriends SO harshly, (or did, before they broke up!)

I know that at Thornden, some people hooked up because it was COOL and holding hands was COOL and kissing was COOL.

But I kinda hoped that everyone had grown out of it..

In my main group of friends I am surrounded by people who are so in love, and even if they have tiny tiffs they really only have love for each other, and CARE about their boyfriends/girlfriends and enjoy being with their lovers. I found this shocking that people STILL judged potential lovers by how rich they were... how JW-ish they were... how pretty they were...

I have met some people at Symonds who are really posh/rich/snobby, but they are still REALLY nice to chat to, and they are real people. When they date they choose someone who suits them. I know its bad to eavesdrop on conversations but revision was BORING and although this conversation made me want to STAB them (haha!) it made me realise how lucky I am.. to have a group of friends who judge me by my personality/retardedness.. who I can have a fun time with... and a boyfriend who I really like spending time with and care about and don't want to get hurt... rather than being with people because they are spoilt and have money given to them on a silver platter and get £100000 allowance a month XD

:)

I love you, friends :)

I LOVE MY BROTHER

'I think that you should go off your laptop at 9pm because when I went on at 9:30 Mum had a go at me. Mum says I am only allowed on my XBOX until 9pm. I think you'll have a go at her because you're a girl and girls are bitchy and hormonal and periods and you go KABOOM.'

'what?'

'Your hormones go kaboom. I was talking to mum about menopause and she says that you get infertile and your hormones go KABOOM!!!!'

I love my brother :)

Nicholas Arthur Whittington. <3

Um... OKAYYY..

My brothers friends are odd..

'In the water cycle, there is precipitation, evaporation, and condensation. Condensation is my favourite because I like it when things get steamy.'

'I like precipitation because its like Jesus is peeing on us.'

'If man boobs were invented before GIRL boobs, then it would be boobs and girl boobs. Instead of moobs and boobs. Or it would be man boobs and GOOBS.'

:)

Alas, my family is not the only weird one!

I was in Somerfield a second ago with my dad, and these drunk people were in there, shouting 'Ce sera sera!' 'Whatever will be!' Really loudly. Smashing wine bottles and stuff.

One of them (NB: the one that smelt the worst and was the ugliest) came up to me and did that butt-squeezy gesture thing and starting wolf-whistling. I have never been so scared in my life :(

The little things give you away....

- The little things give you away by Linkin Park <3

The little things in life are the things that have really been getting on my nerves at the moment.

People bitching about people I love.
The snow preventing me from seeing Avatar, and my boyfriend.
My mum preventing me from having breakfast (long story)
My laptop being generally gay
My brothers friends staying for a sleepover and waking up insanely early and being noisy (the wall between his and my room is THIN!)
Snow being cold.
My sister nicking my legwarmers
People not replying to texts or FACEBOOK MESSAGES
People who are all 'Me, Me, Me'
Christmas making me obese.
Snow making me NOT go to college, which means I can go on iplayer rather than revise.
College making me revise for exams. (haha.)
Being taught english lit/lang in AS by someone who CANNOT teach, and is boring. Leading me to haver to resit my exam, and causing me to panic about the fact that I have NO knowledge of any of the texts in the anthology.
The only revision I have done for english since the snow is writing 'Notes for English exam' on a BLANK piece of paper. oops.
Not having the self discipline to work on my extended project....
Being addicted to 1vs100 on my brothers XBOX, that I get really competitive and threaten to assassinate him if he gets the answer wrong. (yeah, instead of being addicted to spyro, assassins creed or other 'cool' games, I am addicted to a game that is FREE, and SHIT.)


Rant over.

My life is complete though, because:

- I now know who my real friends are
- HUSTLE IS BACK!<3
- Nurse Jackie is also amazing
- The snow is actually pretty, and I like it when strangers talk to me about snow like they have known me for years (but I will still not get into strangers cars, so don't worry!)
- Suzy brought a tea tray to the rec yesterday so we could sleigh, and it was SO fun (except sledging on my front was SO scary!)
- I had a clown cookie from Pauls Patisserie, which reminded me of THORNDEN obesity. I was obessed with them. Now I miss them
- Apart from the fact that they wear Jack Wills and Hollister now instead of Primark and H&M, a lot of my old friends ARE the same as they have always been!! woo! :)
- Being away from a certain someone just makes me miss him more, and realise how I should appreciate when we are together more :)
- I have finally manage to have the self-control to actually exercise instead of eat chocolate santas (unlike YESTERDAY!) Used my 'twist stepper' and cycling machine for the first time since... 2008? and I feel buff. Haha.
- Getting nice emails from supportive friends when I feel in a fuzzle :)
- Rather than sitting in my room and sulking or watching TV online like a slob, I have started doing constructive things like making revision planners, letters for work experience and job applications.
- Talking to friends that I havent spoken to for ages. Realising how much they HAVE changed - for the better. More confident, more honest etc.

Anyways, I g2g. I am running out of things to distract me from my english revision. eepp!!
Hopefully we will have no college tomorrow :) x

How depressing.

The xmas decorations are down.

The bluestar buses are messed up because of some stupid bridge being rebuilt (which means I have to get the 7:14 bus if I want to get to college on time. and i hate waking up earlyy!)

It is raining at the moment, instead of snowing like everyone predicted.

I forgot my umbrella today so I am soggy.

I had first aid today and realised taht my certificate is only going to last three years, so technically it is a waste of time.

I also had japanese (WHY THE HELL DID I SIGN UP FOR TWO ACTIVITIES!?) and it is really quite hard. we only got past 'hello' 'how are you' and 'goodbye' and its HARD.

and i got a text today telling me my next cervical cancer jab is due =/

BUT, life is not over. NUTELLA IS BACK IN THE HOUSE. woo :)

Hope all my HUNDREDS of blog readers are well :P

Oh dear.

My english teacher would not be pleased.

NO PARAGRAPHING IN PREVIOUS BLOG POST!

oops.

CBA

Ever since the end of Christmas day, I have started getting really stressed out.
My parents aren't really helping.
They've been trying to sort out our summer hols (either America or Europe, which narrows it down...!) so if I try and talk to them about something I need help with, or something that is worrying me, I just get my head bitten off.
Which is annoying, considering recently they said that if there is anything that is getting me down, they should be the first to talk to me to about it.
But I don't feel like I can talk to my parents about much. If I tell my mum something private, she tells dad. V.V. although its kinda understandable, it makes me worried about who else she talks to about me (apparently my WHOLE family, according to some awkward phone convos I've had recently)
My first port of call when I have an issue is always Adam. :)
But I don't normally get too stressed out about stuff, and if I do its normally me getting stressed out about lack of nutella in the house or lack of Apprentice on the TV :P
My parents have been pretty immature about a lot of stuff too. They have to make a big deal out of nothing.
When I was invited to Andrews for his birthday/new years they had to have a MEETING about it to discuss whether I would get raped/drunk/DEAD.
I've slept over at Andrews a few times, and they always have to make a big deal about it.
Sorry, I feel like this is a massive rant against my parents, but it is kinda therapeutal. (can't spell that word!)
They can be SO supportive at times, yet other times they can be twats.
In sociology last year we did a bit of stuff about family, and whether the middle child in a family is the invisible one. I feel that sometimes. Kathy is awesome because she is really smart and doesn't have a dangerous social life and she has a perfect relationship with her bf of 2.5 years and my parents respect her and him. Nick is awesome because he is the beauty of the family and he has loads of friends and hes funny and has woman's legs and is basically real skinny (whereas mum makes me feel shit about my figure. I like Ben&Jerrys, ok? GET OVER IT!) Considering I am SUPPOSEDLY starting uni next year, I feel like sometimes my parents don't give a toss. Kathy seemed to cope well so I will be fine. Wait, we have THREE children? I thought we had TWO?
FORFUCKSSAKE
Its only minor things thats stressing me out, like sorting out student finance and getting a job and sorting work experience and revising and the fact that I don't sleep or drink much anymore.
I woke up this morning feeling so drained and dead.
Also I have been looking forwards to meeting up with some mates this weekend, who I haven't seen for ages, and both groups cancelled on me.
GREAT. I guess it is good in a way, I would be pretty depressing to talk to. But I just hate it when people let me down. If I can't make a shindig or have to cancel something I will beg for forgiveness and bribe them with cake before they like me again :)
Hooray for college tomorrow.
I just cant be botthered.
My driving instructors been kinda bullying me as well. If I am good at one maneouvre, I am crap at indicating/changing gear or something. Vice versa. And he seems to get reallymad. IAM SLOW AT LEARNING FOR GODS SAKE. The number of times I have been tempted to ditch him is CRAZY, but I've just paid £200 for lessons and it would be too much hassle changing person.
One of my friends who has him as an instructor (and started after me) is apparently booking her test, and he keeps going on about it. I remind him that she has her own car, and I can't get insured because its too expensive (bloody people carrier!) but yeah, it pisses me off.

On a lighter note, I found Twilight: New Moon online and now I have FINALLY seen it.
YES.

Over and out.

In the next issue of JENNY BEAN'S BLOG, I will be chirpy and happy.
I feel like making a list of the sexiest over-40s. YUM.