The excellent adventures of a #1 Bluestar explorer.

I HAVE LOTS OF ADVENTURES ON MY LOVELY BUS TO COLLEGE.

Getting the bus to college has always been a bit boring, because most of my friends DRIVE/ cycle/ flyyy to college now and now Bluestar has been invaded by Lower Sixths. YAY.

A lot of my buddies get the Stagecoach bus and I just imagine them spending their daily journeys having discos and doing karaoke and eating candy floss and doing the Macarena while I am sat grumpy and tired while Lower Sixths scream and giggle about who they had sex in an alleyway with. YAY.

Luckily I won't have to worry about it TOOO much, now we are on study leave :) and hopefully if I get 3BBBs Il be off to Sheffield to take the TRAM to uni!

TRAM!

I think thats the sole reason why I picked sheffield. My mum keeps saying that its just a bus on a wire, which basically kills my excitement :/

Anyways, yesterday on my way to Ashurst for some revision-related larks, I had several bus-related adventures.

First up, I got chatting to this old woman at Somerfield while we were waiting for the bus, and I got confused because she kept calling me 'Sophie' so I think she may have thought I was someone that I wasn't... or she had escaped from Challoner House and was just CRAZY.

But she was so sweet and asking me about college and uni and my dog (I do not have a dog but I just went along with it and said that it died.) and I was tempted to propose to her. She was like 'See you on Boxing Day!' WTF!! Bless her :)

Then it turns out that the bus driver is the love child of Pocahontas and John Smith. Its so hard to describe him! He had long hair and dark eyes and I think he was mixed race and it was SO funny because some people who came on the bus he'd do a really posh accent and others he'd do like a weird South American accent. I cannot describe it but it made me laugh so much! It was exciting for me because I get the bus to college/town/work (when I worked in Winch) so much that I was almost on first-name terms with the bus driver so I always find it exciting discovering a new bus driver. HOW EXCITING IS MY LIFE!:O

On the bus home I also saw someone on the bus who looked SO much like David Cameron, but he was chubbier and was eating a happy meal :P Perhaps it wasn't him...

Also, I almost had a nervous breakdown because I tried ringing up my O2 top up to see how many free texts I had and it was like 'You have nine, THREE texts to use up by 11:59 tonight.'

Why would they get the number 9 and the number 3 confused? Can you not do maths? Do you have number-Tourettes when you just shout out random numbers? Jeez! SPEAK CLEARER, FOOOL!

It wasn't until I rang them about 12 times that I realised that they were actually saying 'You have nine FREE texts.' FML

Ooohh, the dress I ordered for the summer ball has arrived ^__^ I really like it and am excited about the ball.. now I only need to sort out my hair/make-up/shows/jewellery/bag. Haha.

I don't think I make as much effort with how I look as I used to, which is good in some ways (stops me from missing the bus, less make-up is better for the skin, I can shock everyone at parties with how fashionable and un-hoody-ish I am, ha. ha.) but bad in some ways (i have bad face days, sometimes feel really naked when up against make-up-caked preppies!)

so its nice to go crazy and DRESS UP. YAAAYY!! :D

Moscow State Circus

So.

College is over. The end of an era.

Ate too much choc and cake on thursday, went to the most POINTLESS sociology lesson ever, and witnessed two guys lying on top of a car outside the Jolly Farmer and getting squished. Well, not quite.

I hope they are not dead though.

Went to Moscow State Circus in Southsea last night (NOT in Swansea.. which is where I told Adam it was!!)

I wasn't really sure what to expect. My only memories of circuses is one we went to in France yonks ago (and the only thing I remember about it is that I lost one of my beanie babies!!) and the film 'Dumbo.'

I was secretly hoping for some big-eared elephants but I don't think RSPCA would allow that. Animal abuse and all tha'.

But it was actually really good! My dad got free tickets from work, enough so that I could go with both parents and bring Adam and my brother could bring a friend too (I KICKED HIS ASS AT ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!! YAYY!) and so even if the show was rubbish, we wouldn't have lost much. Apart from petrol costs. :)

BUT THE SHOW WAS AWESOME.

I don't know any technical circus names, but there was a lot of scary spin-y, high-up, jump-y, dangerous-looking, juggling, knife-throwing, people - catching stuff which is hard to explain if you were not there.

There was one point where this guy was running on this wheel thing which was up VERY high and he kept looking like he was going to fall off. then he started SKIPPING whilst running on this thing. I CANNOT EXPLAIN IT. BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

There was a clown-y person who had a little weird chum and they would fill in with some random stuff (like tight-rope walkinggg, eek!) whilst all the scary technical stuff was set up. I think I have developed a crush on him, in a kind of Adrien-Brody way. nom.

Also, throughout the whole show there was this weird Rasputin narrative which would go ON and ON. Deep, booming, Russian voice rambling about Rasputin when I WANTED PEOPLE TO HURRY UP AND NEARLY-DIE.

So yeah, although I missed out on a Woods rave at Chez Overstall, the circus more than made up for it :) I didn't really think that it would be my sort of thing, but it was really good.

Shame about the annoying people shaking their charity buckets about. And the annoying lighting-up things that every child seemed to have in the audience. haha.

Oooh. I have decided that I want to be a man.

Haha.

The end.

Goodbye.

I won't explain.

I will leave you wondering: 'Why does Jennie want to be a man? I am intrigued. I will ask her next time I see her. For her birthday I will buy her a penis.'

OK.

I will explain.

MEN NEVER HAVE TO EFFING QUEUE TO GO TO THE TOILET.

WHY DO ALL WOMEN SEEM TO NEED THE TOILET AT THE SAME TIME?

WHY CAN MEN POOTLE IN, HAVE A WHIZZ AND THEN STRIDE OUT, WHEREAS WOMEN HAVE TO STAND IN THEIR LINE, WRIGGLING ABOUT, CLENCHING THEIR BUTT MUSCLES.

I am sorry for the crude-ness. But it gets on my nerves. Women are silly.

Why can't women have more toilets provided for them? Men can subtlely wee in a bush, whilst pretending they are enjoying the view!

Anyways. Rant over. LOL.

Good day. Hope everyone has a fun half term :)

I LOVE MY JOB

Haha,

just got back from an awesome shift at work.

everyone was happy and i was on TILLS which is awesome.

and the shop wasn't too busy so we could mess about lots :)

and we had the nice manager.

but the funn-est thing was hanging around tills (but with no customers)

Me, chris and sam had fun playing with castanets and clip-on hair extensions.

Then we had a funny convo about pouffes (you know, those foot stool things... kinda bean-baggy?)

Chris : I want to buy a pouffe, they are half price.

Jen: IT LOOKS SO COMFY.

Chris: 'Tis! I like it when you sit on them and they are not too sink-y

Sam: But that pouffe looks really HARD.

Chris: I like it HARD.

Jen: ....

Sam: HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Jen: .......... ohhhh.

Chris: There's no point having a squishy one, they are no good.

Then they started making fun of me for being young.

Basically, Matalan can be boring at times but I work with a fabbb bunch of people.

I miss my superdruggies though (except maybe Podge, haha!) :P

but yeah. Wouldnt want to work at Nalatam full-time tbh.

Just finished watching Junior apprentice, glad that Jordan douche has gone.

I gave Nick permission to use the word DOUCHE when referring to Jordan.

I do not normally like that word. But it seemed appropriate.

Life is nice.

Exams are not.

Funny Joke.

I found this joke in a magazine and it made me laugh :)

Its a little rude though, so watch out!!

A convict breaks into a house to look for money, and inside finds a couple in bed.

He orders the guy out and ties him to a chair.

While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up to go to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a long time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don' complain... do whatever he tells you. This guy is obviously very dangerous If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong honey, I love you.'

His wife responds:

'He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he's gay, thinks your cute and asked if we had some Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too.'

If any of you do not understand that joke (I admit, it took me a few mins to get it!!) then you are very innocent-minded :)

In other news, people are voting today. Not me, I want it to be over. My sociology teacher wants us to stay up for the results. He THEN decided to tell us that the counting may not be finished until 4am. NO THANKS, guv'na!

P.S I spent 45mins watching this weeks Doctor who.

I want that 45mins BACKKKKKKKK.

The ginger assistant is annoying and something about Matt Smith really bugs me.

GAH.

'I'm going to cast my vote for whoever offers free driving lessons to people whose names begin with 'J' :)

The election is coming up, and with all the hype about it I feel tired.

I can't even vote yet but I don't think I realised how CRAZY MPs go with campaigns. I think thats because when Brown was first our PM I didn't really care much, as long as he didn't abolish The Simpsons. :D

Everyone's talking about it, and I KNOW that in our democratic society it's important that we know all the facts before we vote. But we need an Obama. If I was going to vote I would have no idea. Should I just follow the crowd and vote for Cleggy, because he is about 10000% more attractive than the others?

I don't know. As an August baby, I am a bit gutted that I cannot vote basically. I have watched 2 of the 3 TV debates and now I was to REP ENGLAND and contribute to the success of one of the leaders. I am rambling. Slow news day, I guess.

On the way to Southampton yesterday, I was on a bus when we went past a man on the side of the road holding up a cardboard sign with 'LONDON' written on it. I have never seen that before, except from homeless people in movies. It made me think about whether I would ever be willing to pick up a hitchhiker, even if I WAS heading to london. If I was in his situation (whatever that situation might be) I would begrudge everyone who drove past unashamedly.

Any good samaritans?

But if I was in the drivers seat (literally) would I pick up a stranger?

He looked foreign, so he was OBVIOUSLY a terrorist/ illegal immigrant/ gypsy/ some one who will kill or eat my children.

There would be some hitchhikers (MOST!) who have good intentions. They want to go to London but can't afford train fare (it IS quite a lot) but would you be willing to spend an hour in the car with someone you didn't know, who maybe doesn't speak your language, even if it WAS for a good deed?

It would be nice to hear what people think, I cannot decide!!

In sociology workshop today my teacher freaked out because he saw a rat near the entrance to Ashurst. It was a BIG rat but I wasn't too grossed out. I have seen RATATOUILLE. All rats are friendly and just want to cook :)

Good times.

Life is nice.

I have been in a good mood for a while now :)

Like, no stress.

Which is nice :)

Walking to work today I just said 'Morning' to everyone I saw. Which I never normally do.

I feel that because I started my revision quite early on, I don't have so much pressure. Last year I rushed it and got really stressed. This year I am going to less workshops (only SLIGHTLY less) and giving myself time to just chill, and watch Waterloo Road and Glee :)

So I am cool, calm and collected.

Except my bum chum Sarah at work referred to my hairband as 'gay.'

Got an OK-ish weekend planned.

Babysitting tonight, Work tomorrow and then LESBIAN LOVIN' on sunday with Katy and Becky :) I have told them that I will bring lube, vibes and condoms.

Nice fact for you. Apparently you can buy condoms in Amsterdam which are the shape of Big Ben...

I learn so much in sociology :)

Hope everyone has a nice weekend x x