'I AM A GAY RAPIST'

I went to Surrey yesterday.

I am still gutted about Birmingham messing up their Sociology department, because B'ham is like, if I was a building, I would marry the whole of the campus.

I liked Surrey, but I spent the whole time comparing it to my uni soulmate.

After an awkward buffet lunch, (I almost ran away with my parents so I wouldn't have to mingle!) I actually ended up speaking to some people, which is a shocker for me. I would rather hide in the corner with my glass of orange juice :D

One girl I spoke to did the same A-Levels as me, lived in Southampton and had the same birthday as me! EXCITING STUFF!

We went into a lecture theatre for an introduction to the uni (the lecturer had BLUE HAIR! I am sooo going to Surrey!) as well as a sample lecture about Sociology, Culture and Media.

Which was interesting, but I ended up talking to my new buddies about facebook :P

Then we went to a campus tour (led by the most annoying squeaky girl ever!) and I ended up mingling with this guy, who is officially is the weirdest guy ever. But he cracked me up so much. He overheard me talking to my girlies about Farmville, and started slating it.

When we went past the 'security centre' I made a joke about getting protection from stabbing, which started a convo about which area was rougher, Southampton or Chichester (I thought Chichester was in the north.... turns out that was CHESTER.. gahh!)

But yeah. For some reason he started talking about being gay and a rapist... and I wasn't sure whether to believe him.

But once I found out he had TapTap Revenge on his iphone I kinda wet myself. He beat me :(

But yeah, it was a nice day out and if I do decide to go to Surrey, I have 5 facebook adds that would mean that I see a familiar face, which is nice!

I just got paid £20 babysitting for 1.5hours and i feel real guilty. Normally I get paid that much for 5 hours, and I did say 'ARE YOU SURE?' but yeah. Me like.

I have decided to save up babysitting money in my Reading fund.

Reading as in FESTIVAL, not Reading as in BOOKS, so I can hopefully go next year (and ring up Linkin Park and demand that they performmmm!!)

:)

I had a weird talk with my mum the other day...

I started by talking to her about unis and open days, but then she started slating Symonds.

She was going on about how when my sister went to Peveril, beforehand she was really shy but after college she became a lot more confident. So my mum was basically saying that Symonds had done the opposite for me. When I was at Thornden I had a big group of friends and I was pretty confident and happy, but since Symonds I have got a lot more stressed out, and I care more about what people think of me. Whenever I pass through Paul Woodhouse I somehow feel inadequate and uncomfortable, and I have now become a loner on the bluestar bus, because everyone I know gets lifts into college now (but I have a bus pass so I might as well use it)

I had always wondered what it would have been like to go to Peveril. Obviously I wouldn't have made all the friends that I made at Symonds, but I guess maybe the lack of elitism and Jack Wills hiearchy would have made me a lot happier to turn up in a hoody and not feel like a tramp.

But when mum said this, it made me feel really sad. Is it THAT obvious that I have become more reserved since Symonds? I have worked pretty hard at Symonds, so I know that I deserve whatever results I get in the summer. But at home, when I used to be all JUMPY AND EXCITED I just got to my room and watch Sex and the City. (woo!) I used to be a lot more social, and generally happier. Now I have loads of stuff to think about and I end up getting stressed out and tired all the time. I have days at college when I am pretty excitable so I seem a bit weird and crazy. I like that. Its like my normal self is back. When I would have been able to go anywhere at college and chat to people and say hi. At Thornden there was an obvious elite (of about 10 chavs!) and there were so many rumours about abortions and naked pictures and stuff I was happy not to be included in that group. I was happy being friends with loads of different groups, like the FF-ians and the fishpond crew. I know so many people who hated school, and I loved it, and I really miss it.

I am not saying I hate Symonds. I LOVE Symonds, (most days) I have met some amazing people, got an amazing boyfriend who I love spending time with, but sometime I wonder what it would have been like to go to Peveril. But I would have missed my Thornden friends SO much (even though I would get to see Gemma more than once a month!)

I don't feel as included as I used to. In my classes, in my circle of friends, in my family. Even at work I am still just settling down.

My sociology teacher told me that Media students are more likely to get depressed at uni than from any other subject (apparently computing and maths people are happier) because they supposedly do not have enough work to do and get bored. Im not depressed. I just feel up and down all the time.