My new years resolution (to decrease my amount of nutella, chocolate, milkyway magic stars and general CRAP consumption) has failed. MISERABLY.
I was pretty good to start with, I started going to the gym (OK, I went ONCE!) and started making use of my cycling machine and 'twist-stepper' which is in my room gathering dust. I even went for a run (incidently, about 10 hours before my sociology exam. Hence why I have probably failed. Instead of revising I thought it would be fun to get lost for almost 2 hours in North Millers Dale...or was it SOUTH Millers Dale? ITS ALL THE SAME TO ME. PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE ARE SILLY!) :P
But going to uni to see Kathy I had a years supply of chocolate on one pancake. I ate loads of carrots and grapes yesterday, only to top it off with a muffin. and a sausage roll. and a human-sized gingerbread man... haha.
OH. muffins. good times.
I am SICK of muffins. You see, I got back from work last sunday only to find that my mum had bought ALL of somerfields muffins. LITERALLY all of them. Because they were reduced from 99p for 4 to 35p for 4. So she kinda had a stroke in the bakery aisle, and SHOUTED at dad when he suggested only getting one packet...
I have had had more muffins in three days that I would normally have in a year.
44 MUFFINS ARE LEFT HIBERNATING IN OUR FREEZER.
Frozen peas and ready meals are overrated. Lets live on muffins.
I got manhandled in first aid today, when our St Johns person was going through the recovery position. Shame shes not hot, otherwise I would have been like 'OH NO. I CANNOT BREATHE. KISS OF LIFE, YOU STONE COLD FOX!' But instead she was old and chubby. I hate saying 'FAT' so I would rather say 'CUDDLY' or 'BEAR-HUG-ABLE'
:)
Oh. And I have a confession to make. I have told NOONE. I trust my blog readers with this secret.
I am obsessed with prostitutes.
Ok, that sounds weird. I am not obsessed like, I don't want to take advantage of their...services..
I am not a whore of the whores....
A whore-whore...
I was about to say 'Instead of being sick of chocolate chip muffins, I like ANOTHER type of muffin' ;) but I thought that would be inappropriate.
I just find prozzies really intriguing.
I remember, a few years back, one of my friends was like 'How much on average do prostitutes get paid?' I am not sure whether this was a joke.. or whether she actually wanted to ditch her GCSEs and take another...career...path...
But I have always had this ew.. its really sleazy thing about it. I know that SO many prostitutes are forced into it..whether they are kidnapped or they need money or they want drugs. I am not belittling that. I am pretty content with my A-Levels atm that I wouldn't want to just join a brothel and ignore uni and stuff.
I didn't do the KUDOS careers programme (which calculates what careers would suit you, based on your interests and thing you are good at) only for it to come up with 'You're screwed kiddo.. how about becoming a professional whore?'
But since watching 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' and reading the books it was based on (which are SO awesome/funny btw... if a bit graphic at times...) I just find it really interesting. Like, what sort of men use prostitutes. and yes, how much they charge.
And whenever I see anyone playing 'Assassins Creed' the only part I am really interested in is when the prostitutes turn up to distract the evil guys.
OK. I may lose some friends after you guys read this blog. But hear me out.
I do not want to become a prostitute. Or use a prostitute. But I think it would be interesting to be friends with a prostitute... so I could ask them about it.
So... any takers?
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